Montessori: A Modern Approach Chapter 4

 This chapter was very interesting to read as both a parent and a teacher, so I could identify with both roles.  The ideas that Montessori wants to impart on parents is that they should allow their children the space and freedom to explore the world around them, safely of course.  Even in 1924, Montessori read American parents as one of two types; those who over encourage their child and those who are over anxious about their child.  She advocates for parents to let their children guide them, asking the parents to concentrating on relaxing and just being with their child, taking walks with them (and a hands-lens) and just being part of the world with them.  

Also, in this chapter Montessori discusses how parents should not give their children an over abundance of toys.  Instead, the parents should observe their child and what holds their interests and focus on and prepare special activities for that.  Montessori says that, "The parent must observe his child closely, and watch for the kinds of activities he chooses spontaneously in his environment.  The parent can then make them more available to the child by organizing them on the child's own level, and later by creating expansions and variations of them. The simpler he can make these activities, the better they will fit the child's needs."  

I remember when my son was young and like many children, he loved nothing more than pulling all the pots and pans out of the lower cabinets, so we set up a cabinet for him, on the lower level of cabinets.  Inside the cabinet, we placed all the Tupperware we had and a large tub for him to put it all "away" in.  He had also taken an interest in setting the table, so we also placed a silverware organizer with child sized utensils, his cups, plates, snacks, and anything else he showed us that he needed.  Later, when he watched us prepare for dinner, we could ask him to set the table and we moved some adult sized plates and silverware to his cabinet as well so that he could engage in that work.  Sometimes, we added in the extra forks or spoons that one would see in a fancier place setting so that he could learn how to set the table in that way in addition to a less formal setting.  As he grew, we moved things from the lower cabinets to on top of the counter to inside the upper cabinets.  We knew that setting the table was something that interested him (he's lucky to have two teacher parents!) so we rearranged cabinets so that he had a task he could complete at home.  Montessori cautions parents by saying, "it is important to remember too, that the child must be taught indirectly; verbal instructions are not helpful and may hinder the young child by distracting him." My husband and I were careful to not tell our son how to set the table, but to lead by modeling, so we would sometimes set one setting and then need to check on the food, so we would ask our son to finish setting the table.  More than once, in those first few attempts, we would watch him study the place setting we set to learn from that rather than us telling him where things should go. 

I also thought the idea of children playing all day was interesting.  Montessori shared that many parents (in 1924) believed that their child should play all day and rejected that idea, saying, "We must also reject the idea that the joy of a child is in being forced to play all the time or the major part of the day." Instead, she says that the foundation of education should be based on the following facts:

• that the joy of the child is in accomplishing things great for his age
• that the real satisfaction of the child is to give maximum effort to the task at hand
• that happiness consists in a well-directed activity of body and mind in the way of excellence
• that strength of mind and body and spirit is acquired by exercise and experience

When thinking about the toys we give children, they do not help them accomplish these facts, in fact, many of the toys that are available to purchase, do the opposite, they hinder children in accomplishing these ideas.  Montessori contends that many toys are given to children to keep them occupied so they will not disturb the work of adults. 

Some of my favorite points from this chapter:

• If parents are to learn and grow with their children, they must develop the power to observe them, to enjoy them, and to accept them.  All of these depend upon a willingness to adopt the slower pace of the child and to trust his inner powers.  It is difficult for the adult, who must attain his goals in the most efficient manner possible, not to interrupt the child's slower efforts. 
• The adult must always be calm and act slowly so that all the details of his/her action may be clear to the child who is watching.
• The role of the parent is to "care for, and keep awake, the guide within every child".  The child then, is given his own powers for development, and, if the parent is to be helpful, he must try to learn from the child himself what he is to do.
• Many American parents overpower their children with too much enthusiasm and over-direction.  Others are tense, anxious parents who expect too much of their children and themselves.